Gateways and Colourways

I’ll meet you under the monkey puzzle tree
and we can drink a can or two
smoke some skunk weed, draw the world
then paint it by our own invented numbers.

I think we should spray-paint
the pampas grass this year, bright purple
to clash with the schemes of these houses
I detest that everything is colour co-ordinated
in this part of town.

I remember that time when we swapped
all the front gates around, and in the morning
they all came out dressed in their designer daywear;
speechless as in horror show,
bewildered as in scratching their heads and their arses.

But at least they actually talked to each other,
albeit meaningless dribble; lawns and weather,
haute couture mannequin expressions,
and can I have my gate back please,
sorry, and thank you,
and so very nice to meet you at last.

I still don’t see why they had to phone
those silly boys in blue, no one was harmed
and nothing was damaged.
So what if we unhinged a few gateways
onto different horizons,
we weren't the ones promising false yellow.

We glitter; discarded sequins snagged
on the white nylon lace frou frou of suburbia.
So God bless the Queen,
the neat green hedges, the Daily Mail
and the pretty pink maids all in a row.
From the best china service
ladies that lunch sip magnolia opinions
(do have another slice of angel cake)
never mentioning the home-made
Shakespearian dramas,
or the empty milkbottles stranded on doorsteps
with castaway messages beginning:
‘to my darling milkman’.

 

©2007 P.A.Levy
First published by Open Wide 2010

 

Feeding a Habit In Woolworths (pick and nick) - circa 1984

We were both full of self loathing in East Ham
High Street. Actually, thinking it over, we should have swapped
this disposition with each other, a psychological exchange
and mart: me hating you, you hating me; clinically healthier.

I’m out in the cold kicking a crushed Benson and Hedges
packet against Woolies window, waiting, kicking my heels, forever
waiting for you to come out, a radio or two under yer coat, pockets
stuffed with lavender piss perfumes and gold coloured rings.

I’ll be ready to stumble the cod-faced security guard floundering
at yer soles until me and he collide and we both take a tumble, hit
the pavement with all the gravity of discarded pie and chips; squashed
stake and kidney with a trickle of gravy.

Me and my bruises will meet you later down the pub,
knock it out cheap, divvi-up for at least a bag each, then rush
home for a real self loathing treat.

 

©2007 P.A.Levy
First published by Writing Raw 2011

 

iSilverstein

dear boss i can’t make it
into work today
you know
the girl’s thing
i woke up a right moody cow
and you so much as smile at me
in the wrong way
yer life will be a living hell
and you know i’ll only moan
don’t get paid enough
to spend all day boring work chatter
into smelly phones
network’s too damn slow
my hard drive’s caught a nasty virus
i’ve an allergic reaction to
the printer’s cheap ink
my ID badge violently clashes
with my outfit
can’t drink this ‘orrible coffee
i’ve a back ache and a numb bum
this chair is like something
from the spanish inquisition
my workstation’s in a nasty draught
that’s given me the sniffles
and a cough
i think dear boss
you deserve a day off
from the torment
of my hormones
besides it’s friday
i’ve got to get ready
for a wicked all-night party

 

©2009 iDrew
First published by Purple Patch 2011

 

iPlath

it would be so much easier
to get a take-away
after all
cooking is such a dangerous game
and whatever happened
to womens’ liberation
i’m wearing flippers
riding a unicycle in the kitchen
i need this like i need
a hole in my head

chopping an onion
you guessed it
thought i might be able
to disguise what happened
by only using red things
tomatoes
peppers
then i ran out of ideas
can you put strawberries
in a casserole

red wine
i need a drink
and empty the bottle
into the pot
don’t know why i’m bothered
from egg and chips or a sunday roast
salad or even a quick cheesy snack
if i’m doing the cooking
it’s all gonna end up
black

 

©2009 iDrew
First published by Battered Suitcase 2009

 

iAudrey

me and tiffany were having a picnic
in central park
(east ham not new york)
lazing back on the grass trying to catch
some rays

the ray i was after had a real cute bum
he was well lush
but tiffany couldn’t find one
so settled for a paul
who was ok
i just wouldn’t like snogging tickly moustaches

suddenly
these two brown furry caterpillars
crawl right up close and one of said
hello darlings
which freaked us well out
until the other one explained
don’t worry darlings we won’t
hurt you we’re audrey hepburn’s
eyebrows

i coaxed them into a matchbox
looked after them and fed them
trained them
so now i can wear them as accessories
with a little fab 60s dress
whenever i go to fancy dress parties
disguised as holly golightly

 

©2011 iDrew
First published by Bow-Wow Shop 2011